The Tale of Many Egos
by DarkAngelOfSorrowReturns
Summary: Hermione wanted cool, calm, and collected. But she wasn't going to get that with the lot she hung around.


Note: Muggle!AU, slight OOC

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A get together with friends is supposed to be fun, but it's always ending up as a war between the egos.

To make matters worse, the line between the sex of the egos was definitely erased in the presence of these four individuals.

"Did I ever mention that I beat my record three times in a row?" Cormac boasted as he sipped from his beer.

Beside him came a snort from Ginny. "Only four times," she replied sarcastically.

"Now, Red," Draco drawled, "let the man have his fun stroking that pathetic ego of his."

A strangled noise came from the back of Cormac's throat. "Oi, what do you mean pathetic."

"Note how he doesn't deny the ego stroking," Hannah remarked with a smug grin on her face.

Hermione wanted to crawl back into her corner and hide behind a book. Those four in the same vicinity would either be a great time, or a battle of the wills. Nine times out of ten, it's going to be a battle.

She couldn't fathom how she survived this long around them all together. It's like a catastrophe waiting to happen on the poor world. At least the catastrophe would be confined to Draco's condo.

"Come now, Hannah," Ginny said, "you know that you've boasted about some of your past adventures before."

"I'm still on the fact that you lot believe that he's a man," Hannah replied, getting the attention off of herself.

Cormac was once again showing his offence by making another strangled noise. "I am one hundred percent man, love. Just ask the ladies that leave my bed chambers down the walk of shame."

"Shame that they slept with you or shame that they didn't come to their senses before it was too late when they saw that dreary flat?" Ginny quipped with an innocent smile.

Draco nearly choked from sipping out of his glass at the wrong time while Hermione tried to hide the laugh behind her hands. Hannah covered her mouth, and Cormac glowered.

"You're all just mad," he said. "All of you."

Draco raised a finger. "I may have to agree with you on that one, McLaggen. We're all mad here."

"Was that a Cheshire Cat reference?" Hermione asked.

"What is a Cheshire Cat?" he asked, brows knitted in confusion.

The curly haired woman shook her head quickly. "Nothing, never mind."

Ginny placed her hand in her chin, giving off an amused expression. "You know, we should go do something. No offence, Malfoy, I love hanging around in the condo; but it's been so long since we've gone out."

Hermione looked panicked at the suggestion. "There's no way we're going out again while you're all sloshed."

"That's Cormac's fault, remember," Hannah pointed out. "He got us kicked out of the pub last month."

Cormac snorted behind his beer bottle. "That security guard couldn't handle all of this steel presented in front of him."

"You call that steel? My punch was a lot stronger than yours in that bar fight," Ginny replied.

"What about the time that I broke that chair on the brute's back that tried to hit on Granger," Draco said.

"Or the time that I out ran you all when the riot came after us during that concert Cormac ruined," Hannah added.

Hermione ran a hand over her face. "You're all nightmares," she huffed. "Why can't we have a quiet evening sometime?"

"Because we hang out with an arrogant sonuva–" Ginny started to say before Hannah started laughing before Ginny could finish the sentence.

"Who are you calling arrogant?" Cormac demanded.

"The one that's smashed to the brink of causing trouble in town," Hermione answered matter-of-factly.

The other four looked at each other before pointing a finger at themselves. "Me?" they asked simultaneously.

Hermione gave them all a pointed look. "Exactly." She sighed and stood up, folding her arms as she turned to leave.

"Where are you going, Hermione?" Hannah asked.

"I'm going to get everything for a hangover cure that you lot will no doubt need once the sunrise hits and you wake up from passing out again," Hermione answered. "I beg of you, please don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."

After leaving, Hermione knew that they weren't going to listen to her. That group was full of egos, but she did love them in their own ways. If only they could cooperate in a cool, quiet setting.

She snorted to herself. Like that would ever happen.

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 **A/N: Written for HSWW (Challenges and Assignments)**

 **Assignment #8 Muggle History Task 11** \- **Thomas Jefferson:** Write about a pretentious person

 **Word Count** : 744


End file.
